There’s all this talk about what a narcissistic culture we live in. But I don’t really see it much in spiritual direction. People seem much more likely to feel uncomfortable or even guilty for taking an hour a month to focus just on their spiritual needs. The one-hour-a-month that is traditional for spiritual direction is supposed to be about you. It’s your opportunity to really dig deep and connect—for yourself—where your daily life is touched by God. For that reason, spiritual directors are taught “the 90-10 rule.” 90 percent of the time in a spiritual direction session, the director should be listening to you talk. If …

  Spiritual Direction is about you exploring your beliefs, experience and understanding of  God. If you encounter a spiritual director who pushes you in his or her direction or attempts to pull you toward a particular path, turn and run! This is not what spiritual direction is supposed to be like. I bring this up because I’ve been surfing a few spiritual direction websites and blogs and have been shocked at some of the dogmatic and threatening rhetoric I’m seeing from some spiritual directors from the more orthodox traditions. These directors obviously went to different training programs than I and feel entitled to “direct” …